


Mirror, Mirror

by whispered_story



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 19:23:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4758017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen always lets himself go a little during hiatus, likes not having to look perfect for the cameras. It's a lot less fun when Jared is still in perfect shape though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirror, Mirror

During hiatus, Jensen always lets himself go a little. Not like, stops showering or something, but he becomes a little less careful about how he looks. He doesn't shave, dresses however he wants to – usually, that means the first pair of jeans and shirt that he comes across – and he drinks and eats more. Jensen knows that it shows, too. But if he's not going to be on TV, he figures it's okay not to look perfectly groomed and in shape.

It always worked well for him. He'd get a bit lazy, enjoy himself and relax, and then when they're back in Vancouver he'd work out more and start eating better and be back to his old self in no time. 

Except, then he started dating Jared a couple of months before the end of season four. 

In theory, that sounds pretty perfect – Jared is his best friend, and they're great together, and their plans for hiatus mesh perfectly. Jared is a pretty big fan of not shaving and drinking beer and eating unhealthy food. The first few weeks of hiatus are actually perfect; they go out a lot with friends they usually don't get to see and they sleep a lot and have a lot of sex. It's pretty much how every vacation should be.

But Jensen should have taken into account that Jared has the metabolism of a hummingbird and works out because he loves doing it, not because he has to. Halfway through their hiatus, Jared still looks as great as ever – more mountain man than model now, but it only makes him look sexier and his abs are as ripped as ever, his ass still unfairly firm and his shoulders even broader than before. 

Letting himself go suddenly starts feeling a lot less fun for Jensen.

It's not that he thinks he looks hideous, but Jensen doubts he's going to win any body contests any time soon – especially not when he's standing right next to Jared. His stomach is softer, his pecs a little less firm, and all of his jeans sit tighter. He's glad the beard is at least hiding that his face has become a bit rounder. It's not really all that obvious when he wears a shirt, but when the shirt comes off Jensen knows it's noticeable that he's gained some weight. And unfortunately, that means there's no way _Jared_ isn't aware of the few pounds Jensen has put on, and that's really where the problem lies. 

It's not like Jensen can't avoid being naked around Jared – Jared is determined to catch up on all the sex they didn't have when they were too exhausted from filming, and Jensen doubts he can make Jared believe he's suddenly developed a thing for having sex with his shirt on or the lights out. So Jared sees him naked _a lot_ and Jensen sees Jared and his perfect body naked a lot too, and he can't help feeling a little insecure about the whole thing.

Jared isn't a superficial guy and considering how eager he is to have sex with Jensen, Jensen knows Jared doesn't find him unattractive, but sometimes doubt creeps in anyway. Jared is crazy about keeping in good shape, and how can he _not_ want his boyfriend to be in equally good shape? It makes Jensen wonder if Jared secretly wishes Jensen would take better care of his looks during hiatus. Jared is the nicest guy in the world, so Jensen knows Jared would never tell him, but not knowing only makes Jensen's imagination go wild, even though he knows the whole thing is absolutely ridiculous.

When he starts getting a little squeamish about Jared touching his stomach and feels better about having sex with him on his hands and knees than on his back (or, god forbid, riding Jared), he figures it's time to do something.

+

"I got a gym membership today," Jensen says, looking forlornly at the pizza Jared puts down on the counter.

"Hi, I missed you too," Jared replies, and leans down to kiss Jensen hello.

"Hi," Jensen echoes and has to smile a little.

"So, gym membership?" Jared says, raising his eyebrows. "Why?"

"To work out," Jensen says, the 'duh' clear in his voice.

"I have, like, half a gym at my house, Jensen. You could have just come over if you wanted to work out," Jared says, sitting down at the counter and opening the pizza carton.

Jensen rests his elbows on the counter, clasping his hands. "I want to work out regularly. Seemed to make more sense to go to a gym than drop by your house, like, five times a week," he says, then nudges Jared's arm. "Don't want you to get sick of me."

Jared rolls his eyes. "As if," he says. "And we're not filming again for another six weeks, man. You never start working out again regularly until the end of hiatus."

Jensen shrugs. "I just figured it would be good for me."

Jared squints at him. "Whatever. But you better not cut down on your time with me."

"We see each other almost every day," Jensen points out with an eye roll.

Jared grins. "Exactly. And that better not change, Ackles," he says. "Now come on, the pizza is getting cold."

He grabs Jensen by the elbow and pulls him in, placing a sloppy kiss onto Jensen's lips. 

While they eat the pizza, Jared starts rambling about a bar he wants them to go to later, his fingers brushing against Jensen's arm. A couple of times he leans in and kisses Jensen, claiming Jensen had tomato sauce on his lip with a grin and when Jensen goes to throw the empty pizza box away, Jared pats his ass when he passes.

"I'll clean up. You go and make yourself pretty so we can go out," he says.

"So I'm not pretty now?" Jensen asks, and he's mostly just teasing.

Jared snorts and kisses the corner of his lips. "That's the most ridiculous question you've ever asked," he says and pushes Jensen towards the door. "Go shower."

Jensen sighs and complies. He showers quickly, scrubbing himself down before slinging a towel around his waist. In his bedroom, he changes shirts four times before he settles on one that doesn't noticeably span over his belly a bit tighter than before hiatus.

+

His first day at the gym, Jensen maybe overdoes things a little and when he wakes up the next morning every muscle in his body aches.

"I hurt everywhere," Jensen says when Jared comes over for breakfast and then tries to coax him into spending the day in bed with him.

"That's what happens when old people try to pretend they're still young and spry," Jared quips.

Jensen glares at him.

Jared just laughs. "Come on," he says. "Let's go upstairs and I'll give you a massage and a blowjob and you'll feel better."

Jensen sighs dramatically, but he lets Jared pull him upstairs into his bedroom. Jared is good with his hands and Jensen loves his massages. 

Ten minutes later, Jensen is making soft, breathy noises, face buried in the pillow. Jared is kneading tense, sore muscles, slowly loosening them, and Jensen is starting to feel relaxed all over. 

He lets out a groan when Jared digs his fingers into a particularly painful spot on his thighs and Jared chuckles.

"Christ man, what did you do at the gym?" he asks, his touch becoming a little gentler. 

Jensen just grunts in response and Jared laughs and keeps massaging. He moves on to Jensen's other leg soon and then pats his hip. 

"Turn around," he says.

Jensen bites down on his lower lip, tensing, and when he doesn't move, Jared pats him again.

"Babe, turn around," he repeats. 

Jensen sighs and carefully flips over. He throws an arm over his eyes, not wanting to look at Jared. Jared starts working on his legs again, and Jensen startles when he suddenly feels a brush of lips against his inner thigh.

"Sorry," Jared murmurs, hands stroking down Jensen's hips, and places a few more kisses against Jensen's skin. The touches feel good, and Jensen's arm falls away from his face, fingers curling into sheets when Jared nuzzles Jensen's dick through his boxer-briefs. Jared moves higher then, lips brushing over Jensen's belly. Jensen flinches, trying to pull away, and Jared sits back on his haunches with a confused expression.

"What's wrong?"

Jensen shakes his head. "Nothing."

"Do you not want me to blow you?" Jared asks.

"No, of course," Jensen quickly says and offers Jared a small smile.

"Have you become ticklish or something?" Jared asks and pokes Jensen in the stomach. Jensen swats his hand away.

"Of course not. You just startled me," he says with a huff.

Jared raises one eyebrow and kneels over Jensen, hands on either side of his face. "You're a weird one, Ackles," he says, fondly, and leans down to kiss Jensen.

Jensen hooks his arms around Jared's neck, pulling him down on top of him, and kisses him back eagerly. At least this way, Jared can't see anything but his face.

+

"I brought cake," Jared says with a wide smile, holding up a box, when Jensen opens the door.

"I got a gym membership this week and you bring me cake?" Jensen asks, stepping aside to let Jared in.

Jared's face falls a little. "So now you can't eat cake anymore?" he asks, like it's the most scandalous thing he's ever heard.

"Jared. I'm trying to get in shape, okay?" Jensen says, a bit agitated.

Jared looks him up and down. "You _are_ in shape."

Jensen snorts.

"What?" Jared asks.

"Are you serious?" Jensen huffs. "I'm not in shape. I'm all flabby."

Jared furls his eyebrows and looks genuinely confused. "You're fine. We're on hiatus, man, you don't have to have a sixpack and stuff."

Jensen crosses his arms over his chest. "Well, maybe I want to have one anyway," he mutters.

"You going all Hollywood on me, Ackles?" Jared asks.

Jensen rolls his eyes and brushes past him, going into the kitchen. Jared follows him.

"Seriously, what's up with you watching your weight like that?" he pushes.

"Oh, like you don't do that? You work out almost every day."

"That's different," Jared says with a shrug.

"How?" 

"I like doing it, for one. And you know how I am about my body," Jared says. 

"Unreasonably insecure?" Jensen quips.

Jared huffs. "Critical," he says pointedly. "What I'm trying to say is you're not like that. You have no reason to be like that. So you gained a couple of pounds, maybe, who cares? Nobody's gonna see, Jensen."

"You will," Jensen replies. "And it's more than a couple of pounds."

Jared looks at him, stunned. "You worry about _me_ noticing you gained weight?"

Jensen shrugs.

"Jensen, that's ridiculous. You're stupidly, unfairly gorgeous and I'm still not sure how I got so damn lucky," Jared says. "You really think I'm that shallow and will care if you gain a little weight?"

"No," Jensen replies, and suddenly feels like an ass. "I know you're not shallow, Jay. Of course I know that. But – is it that weird that I want my boyfriend to think I'm attractive?"

"Stupidly, unfairly gorgeous," Jared repeats, and catches Jensen by the elbow, pulling him close. He drops a kiss to the top of Jensen's head. "Want me to tell you a secret?"

Jensen snorts and rests his cheek on Jared's shoulder. "What?"

"I kinda think you look better right now than ever before."

"Bullshit."

"I'm serious," Jared says. "I like it when you're not the polished, styled actor. This is a side of you not everyone gets to see – this is really _you_. Makes me feel more like you're mine, you know?"

"So you like it when I don't look too good?"

"You look perfect," Jared counters. "I like you looking a little softer around the edges, and I like the beard. It suits you – both the weight and the beard. And it's sexy as hell."

Jensen pulls back a little to squint up at Jared, and his stomach flutters and his heart thuds heavily in his chest. "You really like me like this? Without ripped abs and stuff."

"I really, really do," Jared stresses. He rests to fingers under Jensen's chin and tips his face up a little further, leaning down for a kiss. Jensen melts into it, and he moans softly when Jared's free hand slides down to his ass, palming it.

"Wanna go upstairs and I'll show you just how much I like you like this?" Jared suggests, brushing his lips against Jensen's cheek.

Jensen turns his head, cheek scraping against Jared's and smiles. "Or you can show me right here," he says teasingly, feeling suddenly lighter than he has in weeks. Happier.

Jared laughs. "I like that option too," he says, and backs Jensen against the kitchen table. He grasps Jensen's ass with both hands and heaves him onto the table. Nudging Jensen's legs apart, he steps between them and kisses Jensen again.

"Love you," he murmurs against Jensen's lips.

Jensen hums, wrapping his legs around Jared's thighs and pulling him in even tighter. 

Tomorrow, he's going to cancel his gym membership.


End file.
